How our church family has supported us as we grieve

Last month, on a Saturday evening, the dreaded call finally came. My brother broke the news to me: “Mom has just gone to be with the Lord.” I was totally devastated by the news. Death had hit home. My only surviving parent was gone. So many questions flooded my head, and tears flowed uncontrollably. Grief came in. 

I’m not writing this to describe that Saturday evening, but the hours and days that followed. I’m writing this to show how my local church supported my wife and I during the first hours and days after receiving this sad news. From that evening, to the day of the burial, and up to now, our church family supported and is supporting us in so many seen and unseen ways. 

Below are some of the different ways we have felt loved, cared for and supported by our local church:  

1. Support in Prayers

From the first few hours of receiving the news, many from the church family prayed for us. Someone called immediately after we shared the news, and offered prayers over the phone. Another person in a message typed a prayer so that we could read it. Many people visited us the following day and sang hymns and prayed with us. Days later, the church family organised online wake services and continued to pray for us. So many prayers were offered to God for us and for our family. They lamented to God, and at the same time praying that the Lord will hasten the day when death itself will die. 

2. Support with Physical Needs

Early the following morning, a couple from our church came and prepared breakfast for us. They later prepared lunch for us and organised for our dinner. Many people from our church family visited us with lots of shopping. Many others gave financially to us, making it very easy for us to do what needed to be done. Two families from the church offered us their cars to use to travel upcountry, and since we needed just one car, we had to turn down one of the offers. The generosity of our church family reminded us of that great generosity God showed us in giving us Jesus, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. 

The generosity of our church family has reminded us of God’s generosity in giving us Jesus: A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.

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3. Support during the burial day

Early in the morning, a couple from church family, together with other church members travelled all the way to be there to support us as we picked the body from the morgue. Even with the cessation of movement from the city due to COVID-19 pandemic, many church members processed their passes out of the city to come and be with us. They again and again reminded us of the gospel, and a day that will come when Jesus will wipe away all our tears. 

4. Support days later after the burial

With the reality of death hitting hard after the burial, the church family has continued to support us. Many have texted us, with others calling to check how we are processing everything. We are continuing to receive many visitors in our house, who come to check on us and to continue to comfort us. We thank God that in this time of grieving, we have not felt alone. We truly thank God for the gift of a local church, and the one-anothering happening in this context. 

“We truly thank God for the gift of a local church, and the one-anothering happening here.”

I could go on and on in mentioning many other ways we felt and continue to feel supported by brothers and sisters whom we’ve covenanted together in our local church. The past several weeks have made us appreciate the gift of a church family. Our prayer for our church is that we will as a family continue to know and get known, as well as keep carrying each other’s burdens. May the Lord grant that as a church family, we will keep doing the one-anothering! 

Here is the first of five reflection articles on loss and death. See the second here!